I could use a good cry and other truths from my heart.
July 9, 2020
The other day I googled, “Why am I crying for no reason?”
Did you know that anxiety is often the cause of random crying.
Makes sense to me.
Right now, the entire world is experiencing collective anxiety.
So is everyone else random crying?
Just going to get groceries has given me pause for concern and stress these days. And while I wear a mask for others safety, I cannot for the life of me get used to not seeing smiles. That part hurts.
I’ve heard that crying is just like laughter. A sudden release of emotion. I’ve come to see it as my mind and heart’s way of healing from the massive changes and loss we’re all seeing and experiencing this year.
I’ve always been a half full kind of person. And it’s real. I was born that way I suppose. So, the random crying thing has taken me by surprise. I just never know when it’s going to happen. An online post from a friend I haven’t seen in a while. A dear friend’s kind words of encouragement. The smell of fresh herbs being crushed in a little bowl. A sweet quiet rainfall when I took my first long bike ride in over a year. (Seriously, a crash where you break things will keep you off a bike for a while). That rain felt like the universe sending me little kisses of support on that important hot July day.
See, I told you this crying was random. Completely random.
My friends have fallen into two camps during this Pandemic and unrest over Racism and hate crimes. There are those that see it as just a bit of a bother. And those that are completely focused on every tidbit of scary or demoralizing news. Okay, perhaps there’s a third in the “middle ground” camp.
Seeing those strong lines being drawn in the sand has me asking so many questions.
But I will say this. I know with 100% certainty, that we will come out better for the wear and the emotions and the questions.
I just feel it in my gut.
I stumbled on this quote from Albert Camus today:
“In the midst of hate, I found there was within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was within me, an invincible calm. I realized, through it all, that in the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the word pushes against me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back.”
I’m grateful for the chance to feel so many raw emotions. I’m grateful for the wisdom to try and understand many points of views. I’m grateful for my family’s health and well-being. I’m so grateful for the love that surrounds me. For weddings that take place in spite of concerns. For local business leaders with positive attitudes and innovative ideas. For new opportunities and new relationships. For a car that runs well and takes me toward little backyard adventures in North Carolina. Thankful or a soft bed that welcomes me night after night. For friends who never judge.
And for lights at the ends of tunnels.
WE are all in this together. WE have always been.
May we never forget.
With Love and Big Crazy, Teary Eyed Hope,
Robbin
