Tenderness.
My friend Libby Williams is a beautiful portrait photographer. She really takes time to SEE the people she photographs.
I’m lucky in life.
I have a lot of close friends but sometimes I wonder if I could KNOW them even better so the book titled, How to Know a Person really caught my eye as I rambled around a beautiful local bookstore last week. Don’t you just love an independent bookstore?
Ok. I’m just on page 39 of this book but I love the author, David Brooks’ insight and wisdom already.
He says one of the ways to get to know people better is to look at others with Tenderness.
The examples he gave of people who have showed us how look at the world with more tenderness were Fred Rogers (I get that) and Ted Lasso. Just think about how Ted looked at his players. It was really that Tenderness toward people that made us all love Ted. The last example was Rembrandt. Not all the faces this beloved painter captured were remarkable, often they were people we might easily pass on the street. But “even the plainest of faces are so remarkably seen by Rembrandt that we are jolted into seeing them remarkably.”
I want that skill, don’t you?
The other night I met a friend for dinner, and I parked my car with the valet. The young man said as I walked away, “Thank you Love.” I turned to smile and look him in the eyes, something I realized in my haste that I hadn’t done before. He smiled and simply said, “The world needs more Love, don’t you think? “
Yes. The world needs more Love. More tenderness. More knowing each other deeply.
My one-year-old grandson can’t talk much yet. He might have about eight words in his entire vocabulary, but he has a beautiful way of showing love and Tenderness. He came in our home recently and saw someone he’s been around a lot in his little life but had not seen for about two weeks. He quickly smiled and held out his arms to him. Then held him tightly around the neck. It was the dearest and most sincerest of hugs I had seen in a long while. He just held it longer as if to say without words, “I sure have missed you and I love you.” Again, it was just a look and a touch and a hug, but it made everyone in the room smile.
I hope you take the time to hug the people you love in your life a wee bit longer. I hope you look everyone in the eyes, no matter how distracted your life can get. I hope you look at every person you encounter with Tenderness and to see them as the remarkable people they are.
I think doing this with intention will make my life richer. And that’s all I am interested in doing these days. Adding skills and taking time to make life even sweeter. I’ve learned as I get older, that life and Love and people are not something to take for granted. A “next day” is not guaranteed to any of us.
So, love life with the open arms of a child. Put down your phone and slow down a bit to look others in the eyes. Write an old fashion letter to a friend to remind them of why they matter to you. Take time to tell them how they have changed your life.
Let Tenderness and Love lead the way.
Blogs are not the “trendy’ thing to do these days. They are as I have heard said before, “So 2001”. But I love writing about things that matter to me.
So, If you have read this far, know I love you madly. You matter to me.
With joy, Robbin
